I used to have strong feelings about everything—politics, art, the right way to load a dishwasher. Now I’m trying to have fewer opinions and more curiosity.
It started when I realized how much energy I was spending defending positions I wasn’t sure I actually believed. I’d read something, form a quick take, then spend the next week arguing about it online or in my head. It was exhausting, and honestly, most of it didn’t matter.
So I started asking more questions instead. Not to be contrarian, but because I genuinely wanted to understand. Why do you think that? What makes you say that? Have you considered…?
The surprising thing is that people respond better to curiosity than to certainty. Conversations go deeper. You learn things. You change your mind sometimes, which used to feel like losing but now feels like growing.
I still have opinions. I just hold them more loosely. I’m quicker to say “I don’t know” or “I haven’t thought enough about that to have a strong view.” It’s liberating, honestly. You don’t have to have a take on everything.
Sometimes the most interesting thing you can do is just listen.